'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Season 7 Episode 2 Recap | Rose Gold Snores
So here we are, after all of the whipped up enthusiasm of last week, we're back with the second installment of this, the reason we drink on Tuesday nights, and as most second episodes go, it was a sleep aid.
Yeah, I guess some things happened, Vanderpump rescued a horse from the circus, some fitness thing happened with The Rinna and Kyle, Erika auditioned music writhers, and well, I guess Dorit had a birthday.
These second episodes are filler to set up the first arc of the season. It looks like Kyle is going to meander through this no man's land of sorts as she's no longer the chief shit stirrer, but now kind of a Switzerland meant to keep the land of Vanderpump from taking up arms. It's so awkward to watch because you know inner demon Kyle wants to break out and start a street fight that involves choking someone other than her sister in the back of a limo. It'll come out...probably by episode 10, but for now, we get this uncomfortable version of Kyle that is kind of like watching your mom put on pantyhose in the summertime.
The Rinna is the usual jumbled mess of hunger, too many words in her head, and this earnest need to be liked by Vanderpump again. As she's rowing with Kyle during their fitness jaunt, you could tell her inner thoughts were basically, "pull...WORDS!...in...breathe...pull...MORE WORDS!" I will admit, there is still something so innocent about The Rinna that it's hard to hold a Vanderpump sized grudge over what happened last season. She's just that friend that goes, "What? WHAT DID I SAY? I mean, sorry! Like, sorry you're hurt. Sorry. But you know, the truth hurts. Like, sorry. Sorry, the truth hurts. Sorry. But not sorry."
And that's basically the apology she gave Vanderpump in an attempt to not have a constant seething Lisa vs. Lisa undercurrent all season. She tried to diffuse the situation at Dorit's Benihana themed birthday party, and well...Vanderpump raised her eyebrow and went back to sharpening her daggers.
Ah yes, Dorit. She is obvs super filthy rich because of the margarine empire her husband Parkay is managing. Because let's be honest, 20% off the top of a 2016 Boy George career isn't buying you rose gold Bentleys.
Jury is still out on Dorit, but right now she's getting a heavily sighed, meh from me. I can't seem to muster up more than a big pile of whatevers about her. This birthday party is overdone and kind of lame. We really only get the thinly veiled joke/death threats of Vanderpump that leaves everyone saying, "Was that a joke or did she really mean there's a horse's head in my bed? The British! They're just so dry, ya know?"
No guys, those were not jokes. There's a mark on all your heads. Sure we're dancing for the second week in a row, but make no mistake. Just as the troops march into battle with drums and bugles, one Lisa Vanderpump marches into battle with an extra weft of weave, her adopted horse, and thinly veiled verbal jabs.
Next week, we get this war, I mean season really started with the first shots fired when Dorit says something to Erika about, "You Americans..." and Erika is all, "Bitch, you are from KANSAS." And somewhere in the Valley, Kyle tries to play the 'cool aunt' to The Rinna's gold digger in training. Hopefully, we will manage to stay awake through it.