Headlines | Echo Chambers, Circle Jerks, and Internal Misogyny
Happy Monday, my beloved freaknasties, I hope everyone had a splendid weekend.
So some things happened, huh?! We got a new POTUS, women marched all around the world, it'll be the New England Patriots versus the Atlanta Falcons (The Boston/Atlanta Showdown irony is not lost on me) and I got pissy on the Facebook for getting reamed for telling dick jokes on Friday.
I'm also pissy this morning, because I work in social media, and I can't work in my field while everyone is navel gazing and screaming into their own echo chambers while their like minded hive is completing one of the most endless circle jerks in history. It's like life has come to a grinding halt so everyone can scream at brick walls for a minute.
So let's rewind before this post completely descends into the rant of a madwoman without a point. Friday, I decided to tell dick jokes all day on my personal Facebook page because why even bother getting political these days? As I learned the week before, it's all too polarizing and ridiculous. Nothing I say is going to change anyone's mind, so I'll do what I do best and ease tensions with mild PG-13 gutter humor.
For the most part, people got what I was trying to do, but after my last joke at the end of my work day that I ended with, "God Bless America" my phone lit up like a Christmas tree while I was sitting in traffic on my way home. Conservatives were screeching that I was basically wiping my feet on the American flag, while more liberally minded people admonished me for not using my platform properly to advocate for those who could be marginalized during this administration. WHY DO YOU HATE EVERYONE, JENN?!
Holy Hell, did I go bananas. I went on a wall o' text type rant, which I absolutely LOATHE doing on my personal platforms, but everyone needed to chill the hell out already. You aren't following me for my insightful and riveting social commentary. You follow me because I have a dark wit and I TELL DICK JOKES. Have many seats, already. Keep in mind this is my personal Facebook page with a rather small and selective handful of people allowed in my kingdom. If we're friends, you already know who I am and what I stand for. This whole 'being mad for being mad's sake' is exhausting.
I avoided Social Media altogether for most of the weekend, because when I took a peek at feeds during the marches, I couldn't cringe hard enough. So. Much. Ugly. Not just by idiot dudes, but by women. I think that's been the hardest thing for me to take in all of this... the rampant internal misogyny from women. I have never seen women turn on one another more than I have this year.
Here's what... I'm not going to sit here and pick apart anyone's ideology. For one, no1curr, and for two? I'm not necessarily right. Live and let live. However, I will speak for myself and lend my first person perspective on this issue as it pertains to the women who marched, and the women who are now speaking out against the women who marched.
If this march would have happened after the inauguration in 2009, I would not have marched. I probably would have sided with the voices who felt it was pointless, as my worldview dictated that I had equal rights. My day to day didn't see inequality nor was I in a position where my gender determined my worth. I was a stay at home mother who worked from home writing, men didn't get my writing assignments because I wrote about female centric topics, and I had the same rights on paper as any man. I was all about women's rights, but I really didn't know what that meant, because I hadn't experienced it for myself. Privilege is a wonderful protection from reality.
If I were able to march last Saturday, I would have because in these last eight years, my life has changed a lot, and I have now experienced some examples of the inequality and fears women went out and marched in solidarity to fight. I am no longer a stay at home mother and I now work in a male dominated field in a part of the country that isn't known for how progressive its views are. I've been referred to as 'so and so's girl' and made only $100 a week more than my male counterparts with half the responsibility I carried and half the education I possessed. I've been marginalized by a man with more money and power than myself, and I have been told to be softer and less direct in my approach in dealing with male colleagues so I'm not seen as 'difficult.' Which always gets the requisite, "Of fuck off and grow a pair," response from me because, lady.
In these last eight years, I have learned that life and circumstances can change in the blink of an eye, and you just might need Planned Parenthood when you're between insurance coverages. I've had a later miscarriage and couldn't imagine the pain of having to carry that to a specific term before labor could be induced because of the laws of the state I reside in. I now have daughters who will come of age in the policies this administration enacts. My girls will be 16 and 14 in the next election cycle, but after that they're adults and part of the voting public. Both of them are outspoken, passionate, and opinionated young ladies. I do not want the global opinion of a 'good woman' to be one that is, "..a pretty lady, soft-spoken and nice.." a direct quote I saw on Facebook with regard to Melania Trump being so much better a FLOTUS than Michelle Obama because she was pretty while being seen and not heard.
If you marched and/or stand by the women who did because you believe in making women's voices heard, great. I am with you. I also understand those women who maybe don't have those experiences and don't understand what all the yelling is about. We're allowed differences of opinion. 30 year old me would have probably been completely tone deaf to the cause and shared one of those memes about it being a waste of time. Near 38 year old me has a different perspective on life in general and blinks in dismay at loud voices coming out of small worldviews. That is not an insult. I wasn't an idiot at 30. I just had a different perspective.
Fight your fight; only realize that nothing that redlines lasts very long before the engine blows out completely.