Well, a Whole Week of Quiet Was Nice...
Orbit Medical's star employee, convicted abuser, Eric Sale, (my blog and podcast's number one fan) strikes again. I really wanted to write about Yin Yoga and Guided Meditation today, and maybe I'll have time this afternoon, in between prostituting myself for cash, but as promised, I am going to be very public and vocal about what's going on right now. I get it's not exactly entertaining, and I'm sure you feel just like I do that this really gives Eric the attention he so desperately craves, but public shaming is really the only antidote to any of this.
This morning, I received an email sent by Eric late last night. I was already asleep after a day of prostitution, and wasting time on something that isn't even a sport, so I didn't read it until 6am this morning. The early rising whore gets the most money and all that...
So here's the email I received. If you recall, last Wednesday, I told him that if he didn't leave me alone, I'd make all of his correspondence public. He was warned. I have blocked out names to keep innocent people out of this, and those are the only edits to this email I have made.
So here's my response to him in full:
First of all, my initial response to these late night 'festos is always, "LOL, WUT." Like, huh? What are you even talking about? I haven't reached out to you since the last warning email a week ago... so again... WUT?
"Honey, read this," I said passing the phone to my pimp.
"Lol, WUT. You're pretty well paid for being the shittiest hooker, ever. I do the dishes and bring you coffee, we need to renegotiate the terms of our arrangement."
I mean, yeah, it's funny, but I'd be lying if I didn't experience the usual gut-check and panic these messages give me true or not. Years later, I'm still conditioned to believe everything he says and be afraid of him. On some level, this will live in my head all day even if it's pretty textbook... all of the good stuff is there, gaslighting (you're CUH-RAAAAAZY, the children hate you, no one believes you, they believe me). I encourage you to read this article to better understand my state of mind if it seems dumb and irrational to you, or you simply don't understand why I react the way I do.
I could go line by line and refute everything he's saying, but first of all, why, and second of all it doesn't take away from this being harassment. Every. Single. Thing. he outlines could be completely true, but it doesn't justify a late night abusive email full of threats, when no one is bothering him. Living my life with a great support system obviously triggers him, but it doesn't justify that wall of text.
It's the ranting of a desperate man justifying his behavior.
One thing I work very hard on, is tackling the gaslighting with logic and facts. I'm sharing this technique with you, because several of you have reached out to me with your own experiences, so I hope this is valuable to you. When something is repeated enough, you believe it. I don't care how smart or tough you are, you will believe it.
So let's unpack a few points in this email.
Fucking so and so for money
I am in a loving, supporting, committed relationship. We have a large income gap, and my partner balances the finances so we are always equal and I want for nothing. He doesn't sit on his pile of income and make me ride the struggle bus. It's how a healthy relationship is supposed to function. I contribute to our relationship equally. It's a partnership. We're so solid, even with our bumps in the road, he has a, "Do whatever you need to do, we'll get you an antibiotic when you get home," policy where my ex is concerned. He gets it. He's been in the mix for a long time now, and he truly understands. Is he happy about it? No. But this is a marathon, and he's all in. That's a lot to take on to pay for sex. And let's be real, I'm a 39 year old, pretty in the right lighting, mother of 3 with a nutcase ex-husband. AIN'T NO ONE PAYING FOR THAT MESS. #Logic
The kids hate you
My oldest isn't happy with me most of the time. I'll concede that. She's been through a lot, is a teenager, and does what she has to do to get through her life. Her life of friends and school are the most important thing to her right now. I am a threat to that if I challenge her father. I get it. I give her a wide berth and a ton of space because of it. I do, however, hold her accountable to certain behaviors that are never okay, such as allowing her father to access her phone to abuse and harass me, and playing both ends against the middle. There are consequences for that, such as not getting an allowance or her phone service. I am not their friend, I am their mother. I make no apologies for being strict and having boundaries. Kids hate that sort of thing, especially if the other side uses indulgence to create allies. Again, I get it. Plenty of time to heal and fix it in the future. Whatever.
And if they hate me so much, why the fear of them having open contact with me? Why revoke my access on their phones, tablets, and computers I bought them? Are you afraid I'm going to find out what's really going on at home like one of them almost getting expelled for threatening a kid with the gun you illegally keep in your house? Afraid I'm going to find out one of them was almost expelled for threatening a teacher via email, subsequently getting banned from all school technology? Just for reference, they had ZERO discipline issues at school with me. Z-E-R-O. If I'm so reviled and hated, open up the channels of communication so they can sing your praises. I know my kids. They make burner accounts to talk to me. #Logic
My company has lawyers on retainer to stop you
OH MY GOD WHERE ARE THEY, THEN? It's been like a week. And what exactly did I do? Provide proof in a public forum? Demand accountability? Take it from someone who may or may not be fucking a lawyer for money, with a best friend who is an officer of the court, and his brother who is an attorney... the first thing a bunch of 'lawyers on retainer' would do is fire you, and then release a statement covering their asses. Sure, you passed all the required background checks, but your rap sheet tells a 4-decade story, and you're writing a whole new chapter of it on their company assets. Again, I could be a complete unhinged maniac, but you sent 8 emails in rapid succession calling me a whore from your company email. Also, if your company was so righteous, they wouldn't have hidden behind the one tweet denying I even had the right company. Sooooo again... #logic.
You and your 12 trolls who believe you
Hey now, mister... there's at least 40 trolls in this army. How dare you, sir. And who even cares how many people are on my side? You're still harassing me. #logic
ROLLERSKATING IS NOT A SPORT, IT'S ROLLERSKATING.
Well, I think the USOC would beg to differ with you, sir, since it's a sanctioned sport. I also think Olympians Brian Boitano, Timothy Goebel, Johnny Weir, Tara Lipinski, Marina Kleiman, Matteo Guarise, the Denney sisters, and all the others I've forgotten would beg to differ with you since they were also Roller Figure Skaters.
I don't know... is current World Champion, Luca Lucaroni, not an athlete?
I'll wait for your triple flip/triple toe combination.
And we're qualifying my hobbies, now? At least I have healthy hobbies... cracking open a 12 pack of Coors Light on a Tuesday night and navel gazing, then firing off an incoherent late night unsolicited email isn't a hobby or a sport. It's alcoholism.
See you in court when I demand child support!
Okie doke. Then you have to admit lying and gaming the system, perjury, and then answer to the pages and pages of harassment over the last two years, the kids' discipline issues in school, denying me access to them, etc. I'm down. Just because you demand things, doesn't mean you automatically win. Remember when you demanded I immediately return with the children to Illinois? You lost. I was 'crazy, blah, blah, blah' then, too. You lost.
Even if you won, child support has never been an issue for me. I'll happily pay for anything. However, no court is going to make me pay you and let you control my access to my children. I'm not a drug addict, I made a mistake 12 years ago and haven't made one since, so you can't use that (it's never worked anyway), I'm gainfully employed, and live in a safe, stable environment. Each child would have their own bedroom in my home. They sleep on couches in the living room in a disgustingly filthy house with broken toilets and an illegal pistol on top of a kitchen cupboard right now... at WORST I'd get generous, iron-clad joint custody with ample visitation you couldn't mess with. That is literally the VERY worst thing that would happen, and you think that scares me? It's literally 4,000 times better than the reality I live now. 32% of my income and legally protected visitation would be HEAVENLY. So let's do this. Have me served at my REAL address. Not an old one or pretend you don't know where I'm at. I'll be waiting. What's stopped you over these last two years if it's so important? Oh yeah, you'd lose all of your power and things to call me. #logic
You're just like Deb! (My mother)
I feel like my ex and Jason Hoppy need to film a road-trip buddy movie together. That's another go-to for gaslighting. "You're exactly the thing you hate that damaged you." I'm not, but ok. My mother was a hell-demon from planet Insanity, and say what you want about her, but if I were just like her, you would've been a pile of ash I gleefully danced on a decade ago. Sometimes I do wish I were more ruthless like her and less like my father. You're projecting.
So there's that, I guess. Another Wednesday dealing with fuckery.
Again, I know this isn't what anybody wants to read, but I really feel like it's important to not let it go this time. Ignoring it empowers it, and I don't want anyone to think that bad behavior is ever justified.
Guess it's time for me to go earn a paycheck.
My pimp delivered my coffee not completely stirred this morning, so that's going to cost him an extra $200. Once he pays me that ransom, I can do my writing assignments for the day, and then go waste my time doing something that's not even a sport.
It's a hard knock deadbeat life, folks.
Like I said, hopefully I'll have time for my original post later today. If not, pending any further antics, it's on deck tomorrow. Fingers crossed.