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I take artistic pictures of my beer. I’m weird.

I take artistic pictures of my beer. I’m weird.

Well hello there! Happy Friday. Had a few minutes before I have to commence Fuck Off Friday™️ so I figured I’d blog a bit. Can I just say how good it has felt to not only blog, but to get a few notes from some of you? I missed that. It’s definitely perked me up a bit, so thank you!

Here’s the latest update on moving.

It blows. The end. Goodbye.

At least I won’t be by my onesie tonight, so that’s great. I will say that one of the perks of distance is that every moment counts. You don’t get trapped in the ordinary and take things for granted.

But you do have to eat a lot of meals alone at The Cheesecake Factory… with weirdos.

OH MY GOD. It was weirdo night, for sure. The bar was full (of weirdos, probably) so I sat in the dining room in what must be the, “Sad lonely people,” section. The hostess sat me right next to a lady who looked like she was having about as much fun as I was with life. Now, this section was empty, so we could have had some space, but no… put us right next to each other. Sure.

She was my soulmate and gave the same, “Don’t fucking start small talk with me,” vibe and I appreciated it so much. She had this big ass GIANT cocktail so she was not one to trifle with. Respect.

To the right of me was a mother about my age, her elderly mother, and 4 small children. Four small unruly children. I hate publicly unruly children. Hate. I’m not talking a melt-down or anything, that shit happens. I’ve carried many a child like a football out of a store for losing their ever loving minds. I’m talking the kids who are treating the shared community bench like a pommel horse while they watch obnoxious cartoons at high volume on your phone. That’s lazy parenting. Sorry, it is. I get that I’m a strict mom, I mean my nickname was General Patton before I came to Atlanta, but guess what… my kids don’t act out for they know the death that awaits them. To their father’s credit, he’s the same way.

I wasn’t going to have a drink last night, but after ten minutes of this circus, I was like… “BRING ME WINE OR I AM GOING TO START PUTTING A STRANGER’S CHILDREN IN TIME OUT.” By the way, you CAN put a kid in timeout in public. Nose and toes against the wall in the bathroom while you very gently remind them you can snap at anytime. They will believe you.

My parenting book comes out tomorrow. Thanks.

The service at this particular CF was horrible. I don’t know if it was the kitchen or the waitstaff, but everything was getting messed up. I shrugged and took it with a grain of salt. I didn’t have anywhere to be, and I need blog content anyway, so whatever.

Angry lady next to me rage-ate her salad, sucked down two more giant cocktails like she had murder on her mind, then angrily threw THREE DOLLARS on the table for a tip when she left.

I sipped my wine that took 37 years to reach me and thought about that. Yes, the service was awful. No doubt about that. I just feel that stiffing the server who is probably making $5 an hour and in a shitty chain restaurant tip pool is a bit mean and missing the point. I usually tip my customary 20% and if I have an issue, I write a note on the charge slip, because I know the manager will see it when they cash out at the end of the night. Email corporate, leave a bad review online… don’t punish the guy trying to make a living wage.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m too soft because I’ve been a server and it’s the shittiest job on the planet.

After that bit of people watching, the Unruly Urchins had to go to the bathroom, and as the mother was wrangling them, she turned to me, smiled, and said, “I wish I were you right now enjoying a glass of wine and a quiet meal!”

Yep. I’m totally relaxed right now. Your kid’s rhythmic kicking of the bench we are sharing and the sound of cartoons blaring are really soothing. I’m not guzzling wine to prevent an incident at all. Nope.

I just grimace-smiled at the lady. Enjoy those teen years with these hooligans.

They finally leave, and another family comes in as I’m mainlining a piece of cheesecake and another glass of now celebratory wine. This family looks mature and normal. Wonderful.

That was until…until…wait for it…

They joined hands and said grace.

At The Cheesecake Factory


Very loudly.

God is good.

I’m going to douse myself with gasoline and light a match.

But wait! It gets better.

Someone to the left of me was having a celebration of some kind and there was a professional photographer capturing the moment.

At a Cheesecake Factory.

On a Thursday.

We’re making memories, people.

I just… I mean… WHY. What ancient burial ground was this place built on that brings these people here?

Well, since we are in the bad place, let’s just keep digging deeper, shall we?

When I was done with dinner I chilled out in bed and scrolled the news when I saw this story.

Missing CT Mom Involved in Bitter Custody Battle

My stomach dropped as I read the details of this story and the updates from today. My biggest fear. The second an abusive man starts being held accountable, the woman meets her demise. ALLEGEDLY, but c’mon. There’s a headline like this every single week, and people are still ignorant about how dangerous domestic violence is. It’s not, “wife beating.” Chris Brown didn’t ‘punch’ Rihanna… he tried to kill her. The majority of the population minimizes it and doesn’t realize the true danger there is for victims. Jennifer Dulos dropped her kids off at school and then disappeared with traces of blood in her home because she was fighting back and her ex’s web was unraveling.

This doesn’t give me a whole lot of comfort with this move. Because I know what’s in store for me. The most disgusting thing is that people who kill the other parent will still have rights to visitation in prison. How’s that for a fuck you? The law can’t keep the victim safe, but the law will protect the rights of the perpetrator. Wonderful. God Bless America.

Ok, now that I’ve dragged us back into the depths of hell, let’s lift ourselves back up again.

It’s Friday! I hope everyone gets at least a bit of rest and relaxation over the weekend! I’m going to do my best to take a bit of a break and get things together to have a great kickoff to June! I am willing June to be a good month. It’s my birthday month. Don’t fuck this up for me, universe AND JENN.

Anyway, just remember you only have to be 1% closer every single day and you’re going to get there.



Jennifer Gulbrandsen