A Spoiled Brat Blows North

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Bonjour! Quick blog before I head into the office. I didn’t get a chance to podcast last night, and it’s not that I didn’t have the time or that I was crazy busy, I was just tired. I’m one of those speshul snowflakes who gets all discombobulated when my routine changes and it takes me a couple of weeks to adjust to it. Especially since it’s coming on the heels of two years of being a bit of a pretty princess who hasn’t had to wear anything with a zipper very often.

Atlanta created a scoche of a pampered monster.

So, be patient with me as I adjust. I have to wear nice clothes and use a PC - OH MY GOD THE HORROR - six hours a day. Weep with me, won’t you? I’m having reverse culture shock right now and it’s kind of hilarious. I now make faces at things that would have never bothered me five years ago. My desk at my Chicago office is white laminate. Every house I have ever lived in here, including my wealthy parents and grandparents, have had laminate countertops. It’s the durable and sensible surface of my people.

I audibly gasped when I saw it. WHAT DISPLAY OF POVERTY IS THIS MY DESK IN ATLANTA IS SOLID OAK WITH A LEATHER EXECUTIVE CHAIR AND AN ORNATE ORIENTAL CARPET LAYS ON THE PERFECT PERGO FLOOR. I HAVE A WINDOW THERE. I CANNOT LAMINATE COUNTERTOP IN A CHAIR WITHOUT ARMS WHILST WORKING ON A PLEBIAN WINDOWS LAPTOP.

I’m not complaining. I’m making fun of myself. I have changed, yo. Five years ago, I would have been stoked to work in a closet if I could call it my own office. Welcome to everyone’s nightmare blown north. They probably have a morning prayer circle before I fly in on my broom at 10am screeching about dusty keyboards.

I am a delight who brightens everyone’s day.

Anyway, the gig is fine. It’s what I do in Atlanta only more Nancy-adjacent in responsibilities rather than ‘make it pretty!’ I’ll just bother him if I don’t know what I’m doing. Nothing new there.

So, yeah, I’m adjusting and it makes me tired. I am grateful that I am such a robot in my routine because my morning routine has stayed the same and helps me stay grounded. I’m an early riser, and my routine helps center me and set the tone for the day even if I fall into a heap of exhaustion at 8pm every night for right now.

I think everyone should have a morning routine. For me, there’s comfort in predictability. Here’s what my routine looks like:

  • Wake up, coffee, read emails, social media, news, etc.

  • Walk dogs

  • Journal for 15 minutes, blog, get to-do lists together

  • Workout for 30 minutes or so, more if I have time

  • Get ready for work

It’s simple, but in times of change and a bit of chaos, it kinds of reels everything in and holds you accountable. Everybody tends to think that effort is the key to success, but it’s actually consistency. I am literally no fun to be around right now because I have things that need to happen, but guess what? Having discipline and consistency like this makes everything happen. I rarely don’t succeed at what I set out to accomplish. Sometimes it takes me a while, but I subscribe to the 1% rule. All you have to do is be 1% better today than where you were yesterday. I’ll find a stride where I can establish a routine to get everything I want done, but for right now, we just consistently improve. Adding blogging to my morning is one thing I’ll conquer this week. Maybe the podcast comes next week. Then consistency with fiction work follows. If I try to do everything within my first five days of landing here, I’m just going to freak out and quit. See where I’m going with this? Slow forward progress is still progress.

Ok, that’s enough aggressively average life coaching for today.

Off to another day and another dollar. Right now my immediate concerns are my skin and hair. Even though it’s ‘humid’ by Chicago standards today, my hair and skin are like, “WHAT THE EVER LOVING DRY SAHARA FUCK IS HAPPENING?” My gorgeous curly hair in Atlanta is like limp, crunchy, and weird here as it has been my entire life, so I have to go back to straightening it. My skin is cracking and dusty like some kind of tree dwelling witch; sending my Atlanta cured adult acne a telegram…”Come on back! Your host returneth!”

Everything is wonderful. I am literally going to put chicken grease on my face and hair this morning.

Have a good one, Freaknasties!

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Jennifer Gulbrandsen