Scarcity or Abundance? You Decide.
Gird you loins and cover your ears, a week from today I shall be forty. I have no idea how this even happened, but here we are. Sometimes I feel like the last decade has been a hallucination you have laying in the fetal position on the floor after getting food poisoning, and sometimes I feel like this last decade was a major win.
We’ll do the whole retrospective on the last decade next week as I weep for my youth on my actual birthday while Sarah MacLachlan plays in the background. For now, let’s just babble incessantly about other things.
So the last week has been a real and true character builder. Since life is a cruel and pointless joke, if something is going to go wrong, it probably will. From breached bank accounts, shattered phones, frustrated partners, and living in cramped corners with two complete asshole dogs, there have been moments where I stare into the middle distance with an eyebrow raised like, “Really?”
Honestly, I’m not even mad. ’Tis life. Either you look at it with scarcity or abundance. As I get older, I choose abundance.
Like, yesterday my phone hit the concrete and blew to smithereens because iPhones are built with fragile unicorn glass forged with sacred dust and orphan tears. I am also a cheapskate and don’t insure my phones, so this means I have to buy a new phone. Since I am a huge snob, I will only deign to carry a certain model of iPhone, so I will have to wait because my local phone carrier didn’t have it in the store.
A few years ago, I probably would have panicked. HOW WILL I SURVIVE LIKE THIS. Yesterday, I was like, “First of all, I’ve had that phone for a whole 18 months like some kind of poor person, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME I GET A NEW SHINY OBJECT.” As far as not having my whole life at my fingertips, I literally have an iPad, MacBook, and an Apple Watch. I’m not going to miss a thing. If anything, I’ll have to do more meaningful things with my time because I won’t have something constantly distracting me. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I don’t need to be accessible to everyone at all times.
Not gonna lie though, I did have a full five minutes of initial panic. Actually, I freaked out. However, practicing this mindset over the last couple of years helps me put things in real perspective and reframe it into something rational and manageable
Basically, you have to constantly tell yourself, “It’s not the end of the world until it’s the end of the world.”
There’s also a huge amount of power that comes from reframing your thoughts from scarcity to abundance and from victim/survivor. For example, in my current situation, I can focus on being the victim of a person who controls me via creating chaos in my life, or I can come from a place that I have full and complete control over my life now and the ability to do everything exactly the way I want. I am fully independent. No one has to rescue or help me. I can 100% figure it out and handle it myself. That’s something to revere with gratitude
It sounds very trite and woo, but the only things you really need to get through life are patience and gratitude. It’s science. No seriously, it is.
Things will manifest for you like clockwork if you come from a place of patience and gratitude. Every morning I list five things I accomplished the day before, five things I am thankful for, and five goals I want to accomplish in the day ahead, then I jot down a paragraph about how I felt about the day before and how I’m feeling in the moment.
Let’s be clear, it’s not behaving like Pollyanna. I legit almost destroyed Tokyo Godzilla style yesterday over a few things. I just called one of my dogs a buttface this morning. I have anxiety about a lot of things. I am tired. There is a part of me that resents these current hardships, because they aren’t my fault. The point isn’t to plaster a smile on your face and tell the world I’M FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE while you put a cigarette out in your eye and hurl yourself off a cliff.
The point is to be very honest with yourself and say, “Yes. This moment blows goats. I have the ability to change it, do things differently, this is temporary and never going to happen again.”
Well this sucks as it’s going to cost me $400, but I will have a phone in a couple of days, that bitch is insured to the max, and life will go on. I am in a position where this isn’t a crisis, and I’m grateful for that. Lesson learned. Next.
I’m not any less pissed off about it; I’m just not dwelling on the loss of it all. I’m choosing to focus on the abundance available to me to fix it and being grateful for it.
Ok, I’m sick of myself now, but I’m telling you, reframing bad moments is really a game changer and makes getting through it so much easier.
Anyway, I’m off to another day and another dollar. One more thing to be thankful for.
If you want to check out Chapter 3 of ‘When You’re Far Away,’ you can do that here.