Lazy Girl Recipes | Shrimp and Kale Pasta

Yo! Watching the bloodbaths on social media makes me hungry, so let's cook us up something yummy. This week, let's make ourselves some shrimp and kale pasta. What I like to call, "Alternate Seafood."

Now, if you haven't tried one of my recipes before... you're in for a treat. They're for lazy people. No measuring, chopping, and typically only use one pan or two. However, you have to kind of know what you're doing in a kitchen or you're going to set everything on fire and ruin your food. 

Ok, here's everything you need. 

Literally buy the cheapest garbage chardonnay you can find. Trust me. 

Literally buy the cheapest garbage chardonnay you can find. Trust me. 


1lb linguine or whatever pasta you like

1 lemon/1 clove garlic

2tbs butter or I used Olivio

2 cups kale

1/4 cup white wine, or mix 1/4 cup lemon juice with 2tbs melted butter if you want to omit wine

1lb shrimp

Ok, so in a skillet throw together the shrimp, the sliced lemon, butter, and the diced clove of garlic. Cook on medium/high until the shrimp is opaque or pink and you don't get poisoned. 

While that is going, boil water and cook your pasta as instructed on the box and drain. If you can't boil noodles, I can't help you. 

When the shrimp is done, DON'T DRAIN IT. Turn the heat down to low and toss in the kale. When the kale is totally tossed into the shrimp mixture, then SLOWLY OR YOU WILL BURN DOWN YOUR KITCHEN, add in the wine. Cook until kale is soft, but still has a crunch. I cooked it for about 5 minutes. 

Take out a serving of pasta and plate it, then top it with shrimp and kale. Voila! Dinner in about 11 minutes flat. Each serving is about 400 calories, and this batch will make you about 4 servings. 

Jennifer Gulbrandsen